Thank God I'm not alone thinking this.

I have thought this for years but whenever I would bring it up people would tell me I was being silly. This guy does a great job breaking it down.

Man I love robot chicken

So so sad. =]

I Don't want to be stupid

I'm getting tired of all the corporate buzzwording giggly bubble headed women I work with and have to be in contact with everyday. Is there no end? To make it worse many of the men I work with are gay* and act the same way. But that is a whole other story. I'm surrounded by people who have no frikkin clue and are so far out of touch with reality some days if you could see them you would think we were stuck in Bizzaro world.

Everyday when I wake up I have to remind myself that if I don't go to work I wont have any medical insurance. So I go. But we all know... or at least you being intelligent enough to read this should know.... you become like the people you hang around. I can feel my IQ trying valiantly to keep from dropping and it is starting to make me really pissy. Lucky for me (and frankly the people I was getting ready to smack at work) I stumbled across a song by Pink which I have now added to my work sucks playlist on my iPod. So now when it starts to get to be too much I can just smile to myself and turn on my music. It is called "Stupid Girl" and I love it. You have all seen the Dove commercial showing the process of making up and photoshopping models for advertisements right? If you haven't my sister Emily has it embedded in her blog or you can find it on youtube. I feel that Pink's music video for "Stupid Girl" is just as effective and I like the words so I have embedded it here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.



*I do have a few gay friends who are very well grounded and not flaming idiots. Unfortunately none of them work the same place I do or even live within 150 miles of me.

Give the damn whales a day off already.

So I know we have all read and heard about people being "attacked" by a killer whale. How many of them in recent history have survived these attacks? ummmmmm I haven't heard of an actual fatality at any of the parks that are center to the big media hype about it. I'm getting tired of it. They aren't trying to kill or even hurt the people. They are just saying enough already.

OK so if they weren't trying to hurt them why are they called killer whales? Let's face it, they are big, sleek animals with lots of teeth that are made to hunt in the water. That is what they do. Here is some nice footage of a killer whale taking out a great white. If they wanted to kill their keepers they would. I mean really. It seems to me that the all the whales are doing is demanding a day off. They have to get bored swimming in circles all the time. So get over it already! Sheesh! We all have bad days; whales just only have one way of expressing that they want to be left alone.

Hooray! DDDR for Everyone!

So I go to this party at my friends the past weekend and they are all sitting around drinking and talking and then they kick the kids off the PS2 and break out DDR.

Wow. Ok. So I don't know if you have ever had the chance to participate in DDDR but you shouldn't miss the chance. Yes even if you don't drink it is definitely worth playing with people who do.

So I can hear you asking yourself "What is DDDR?" Well it is Drunken Dance Dance Revolution. Adults can actually beat small children at this game when under the influence of Alcohol. Amazing but True! Talk about a work out. I'm tempted to get the game for myself but like every other piece of exercise equipment I've ever bought it actually requires you use it for it to work.

yay! Baby animals are just so cute!

So I bought myself a new camera for christmas this year. It's a Canon A540. Far from top of the line but it still gives some amazing pics and even some not to shabby video. You are of course limited on the video to your sd card size but still. I posted a video I took at the Hogle Zoo yesterday on you tube. Baby Acara
There was a bunch of little kids screaming in the background so I extracted the sound and added in Andes music. Yes I know the Orangutan is not from the Andes but I like the music. Enjoy!

Nothing like Radiation to make the Yule Tide bright.

Ok this totally sucks.

Spotlight on Surveillance

They have this set up in SLC International Airport along with a bomb sniffer. The bomb sniffer is no big deal they just shoot a puff of air at you and their computers collect data on the air that comes back. What I have a problem with is that they don't tell you that they are going to be shooting you with radiation, they just do it. I know that is what it was because when I got through I glanced back while I was putting my shoes back on and I could see the computer that showed the person who was being checked behind me. I hate flying already but then they start shooting radiation at me willie nillie? I have enough problems without worrying about whether I'm going to develop cysts or something because I flew to see my family over the holidays.

All right everybody... Let's work on our maniacal laughter

Well.....ok I admit it.
Yes this is disturbing to me. But probably not why you think. I mean.... look at how wide the teacher's tie is!

Yay! New Mac Ads!

I love the Mac ads.

Here are two of the newest!

Gift Exchange

and

Meant For Work
This last one makes me wonder... hmmmmm...... Is mac endorsing EMO? ......
Nah. Probably not.

Our lives aren't so bad

Ok so these really are worth it. It really made me laugh. If you think you have it hard you had better think again. lol

Hope is Emo. wow. I just... wow.



The Complaints Choir of Birmingham. Now if only they could get paid to do stuff like this.

Trapped in Civilization

Oh quiet babbling brook,
How I miss the hours of solitude by your side;
Lulled to rest by your peaceful song,
Comforted by your constant variations.

Surrounded now by the bustle of what most call progress,
I look back and long for the peace you offer me.
Will it never be mine again?

My 13 articles of faith.

I've thought alot about my life recently and have found these few things to be true.

1. If you don't look out for yourself no one else is going to.

2. Good things happen to those who make them happen.

3. People are basically stupid, horrible, twisted, manipulating individuals who will hurt you and take whatever they can away from whoever will let them. So get them first.

4. Most "good" people are only good out of fear of deific retribution.

5. Machiovelli was right.

6. You will never be happy doing what everyone else wants you to do and the more you try to make others happy the more they want.

7. If the grass looks greener on the other side it probably is.

8. You become like the people you associate with.

9. Nothing says thank you like getting the hell off my back.

10. If you show respect to others they will be more likely to do what you want.

11. Everyone has a lever. Find the Lever control the monkey.

12. Your best is seldom good enough to others.

13. Helping those who consistently prove themselves to be a failure is not only a waste of time but injurious to your self.

Dolphins with Prosthetics?

Ok.... so imagine my suprise when this morning I open my girlfriends computer and yahoo is saying that a dolphin may get a prosthetic tail . Ok so it is really cool that they saved the dolphin and that it has learned to swim without a tail. But now they want to put a complex prosthetic on it. The closest one like it cost a zoo in Japan $100,000.00. It was only a partial one so they know that this one for the entire tail and joint will be more. They are keeping her at the aquarium with or without the tail and she know how to swim without it..... so why? and at whose expense?

Ya it is amazing that they can do that but come off it.

Days of Rain and Carnies

This past week I was able to attend the Utah State Fair with a friend of mine. It was pouring rain, windy, and colder than many find enjoyable. I however, believe that these conditions, coupled with the fact that there was only one day left, make the perfect fair going conditions. Yes indeed. The fairgrounds are far from crowded, the Vendors are willing to make killer deals trying to get rid of their inventory so they don't have to pack it up, and the Carnies are cold, wet, tired, bored, and willing to give you games for a smile. Yes, my friend and I walked away with an armload of assorted large prizes from a 3 ft Scooby Doo to a 3 ft psychedelic blue dragon, stuffed blue and purple fish, a fluorescent yellow duck, balloon apples and several assorted chotchkys ranging from porcelain frogs to Pewter hair clips.

There are indeed few things that beat rainy days at the fair.

Adventures in Dance Class

After 3 years of trying, I finally convinced my husband to sign up for an 8 week social dance class. Crazy I know but whatever. Soooooo.... After weeks of anticipation, or dread depending on the party, the night of the first class finally arrives. Lucky for us the class is in the school literally 1/2 block away. Guess who insists that we drive and park in the school parking lot. Here's a hint....It wasn't me. So fine whatever we drive and park in the parking lot that is on the far side of the ginourmous high school. The completely asinine thing about this school is that instead of numbering all of their classrooms as well as naming them, they just name a slew of them. The name of the room we are looking for is "The Dance Room" ya, you see the problem. So in this school with at least 200 Classrooms we are looking for "The Dance Room" with noooooooooo directions. But hey we are brave adventurers who had to drive a half-block. Lucky for us there was a volleyball game on so there were plenty of helpful people who were more than willing to send us in the wrong direction. So we finally accidentally stumble across a small 5x7 sign on a door well that says "American Social Dance" with an arrow pointing through the door. So we walk through the door and find ourselves in a stair well. No other signs and we have two choices. Up or down. We are discussing which way to try first when luckily another couple walks in who has apparently been there before and says the class is downstairs. So we follow them down the stairs around a dark corner, through the weight room, and finally into a hardwood ballet class room. Yay! We made it woohoo!


Queue the instructor


Oh what a look. Goatie..... Short poofy hair that looks like it tried to be curly.... Black suede high heeled dancing shoes.... Black loose fitting dress pants.... Black silk shirt with a sleek black and white tie. This was someone you knew you could trust to teach you to dance.... Until he opened his mouth. He did very well demonstrating the steps but he was very indecisive in his instructions. Listening to him describing what he wanted us to do was torture. Those of us who didn't catch on from his demonstrations probably wont be back for the next class.


My husband and I were willing to change partners to learn the steps better, so I had the chance to actually dance with some extremely talented old men who were trying to get their wives to go dancing with them for New Years this year. I also fortunately was able to dance with some absolutely terrible dancers which gave me some real appreciation for dancing with everyone else. My poor husband however found himself dancing with all the nice old ladies that were trying very hard (unsuccessfully) to understand what our instructor was trying to tell people. He also had to dance with stuck up little girls who didn't bring a partner of their own but were obviously not happy to be dancing with him.... giving him further appreciation for when he got to dance with me. Fortunately rather than turn him off of wanting to continue the class he thought it was funny that, unlike the prissy girls who could dance with any guy they wanted and would turn him down when he was in high school, these prissy girls had to dance with him or not at all.



Our class finally came to an end and we started the long trek out of the labyrinthine school and back to our car, offering directions the next class's lost and weary on our way. We made it out of the building to find that it had rained and the pavement was the lovely wet chalky smell that comes with city living, got in our car and drove the half-block home. Content to not do another dance step until the next class.